Nothing Really Has Ever Changed For Me

I don’t remember very much about my earlier childhood except that we moved around a lot and it was really hard making friends with anyone and I stayed home most of the time reading and walking around the neighborhood when I wasn’t running away from my loneliness. I must have read over two hundred books in my life time. I bet my parents probably would be surprised to hear that I remember all that. I think that my parents used to rent my conversation out and sometimes that meant that someone wanted more than just conversation and I guess that’s why I am so dead set against a personal decision to prostitute myself and that makes me think that is probably the reason I can’t have my United States Marshal Property like they told me I could if I completed all of those Civil Service Exams and walked to the store for them just one more time that day on a lot of days and if I ran out to play in the street with parked cars some more but hey that’s how it is in some families. I’m pretty sure that my blood relatives are rich because with names like Doyle, Taylor, Mease, Hoyt, Newton, Wood, Brasch going back in time on the parental time line and having read so many books and having had a Librarian in the Library that was very busy as my babysitter telling me all about the Dewey decimal system and showing me how to shelve books it makes perfect sense but the hard part to figure out is they have children and well I’m no rapist or murderer and I have never really been a liar or thief and I don’t like to get cheated so I try not to ever cheat anyone I just don’t understand what in the world could be going on with them unless they owe a lot of money now in which case I understand why I get a Social Security Disability Insurance Check but after carefully reviewing a lot of case law I don’t really think it’s for Schizophrenia when Amnesia is the same thing and well I’ve been hit over the head a lot as a Police Officer and Firefighter with the Civilian, Military and Federal Court for quite a long time now and I have traveled to hundreds of cities and been asked to stay awhile at least until everyone deserted me after I told them I wasn’t gay and I was waiting to marry a girl I could make babies with one day and have a little house out on the prairie where we could farm and raise live stock. I guess that since I’m only 43 years old it’s not to late just yet but I’m sick and tired of all of this wondering around and begging for something to eat all of the time with no one to call my friend with rare exceptions sometimes of course and of course the God of my Heart, I know. I really do find it perplexing these days why it is that if my folks are so rich and not feeling queer all the time why they would have so many conditions to my living on one of the family estates especially since I’m pretty sure that I might actually hold some world records in athletics have invented some useful devices and discovered some good medications been around the world with a lot of celebrities of television, music and the movies now that it’s getting cold outside here in Seattle, Washington USA. It makes me think that since everyone probably would be watching what they do next that they might think that my rich relatives are actually retarded. I don’t know if they are but I guess I still love them, I think.

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